Attention, denizens of Gataxia! The purple legion has seized a batch of interdimensional anomalies. Once analyzed by our Chief Mental-Dissectors, we found further evidence that these artifacts are a perversion of our universe, andwhile the mechanics behind them remain unknown we have gathered enough information to provide a report to you loyal citizens. Be very aware of the appereance of these unholy artifacts and very wary of the true nature that lies behind their appereance
The first anomaly is a technologically advanced containment unit working as a case for what appears as a comic. The insides restrain immense power, capable of crushing an Imperial BruTank. The Imperial Deflagration Dismantlers Squad was deemed necessary to attempt opening one.
Using their advanced scanners at the time of deflagration, they’ve found that when these devices reach critical mass, they unleash a comic that seems to not follow normal physic laws upon reading. And that’s not all. Two extra anomalies appear as well upon deflagration.
The first extra anomaly is an art piece that could easily pass as a poster from our dimension if not for the weird sizing. It’s extremely intricate and seems to depict a complex organism connected by both tech and magic, in clear violation of the Covenant Council regulations. Reminder to all citizen that practicing magic is forbidden and punished with death or total nullification without an explicit permission of the Covenant Council approved by the Matriarch.
The second extra anomaly, a strange ‘ticket’, permits access to a so-called ‘action figure’. Our Brain Shamans have decoded that it can be combined with another anomaly to summon a 3D entity. Are they friend or foe? Obviously foes, don’t be fooled. Only the Empire is your friend.
Another kind of anomalies are disguised as mere pre-empire postal stamps, but are no ordinary pieces of digital paper. We have determined that they are the second piece of the puzzle needed to summon the 3D entity. An experiment has been conducted by the Covenant Council under the supervision of Zoofie, our current Covenant Matriarch, to open the summoning portal.
The experiment went as expected, opening a breach towards which passed an outerwordly entity. Little did we know, unfortunately, that the entity seemed to be the extradimensional counterpart of our Covenant Matriarch herself, and she does NOT like competition, so she incinerated the subject on the spot. No traces of tissue or DNA were left to be analyzed, but we were capable of observing for a little fraction of a second that said entities are capable of movement.
Our Dissectors have also perceived the traces of a cosmic Moloch between these tokens. He has previously brought chaos in places such as the Dark Horse realm, the Heavy Metal hells, and his evil deeds even traveled through The Big Bang (Theory). His role is still not clear but we are sure that the impact of such a power is going to be devastating.
As your Galactic Tyrant, my resolve remains unshaken. We face these dangers head-on and will contain and neutralize every anomaly to assert our dominance over these newfound realms. Stay alert, report all sights of these items, and remember: these are enemies of the Empire!
First image courtesy of a few @midjourney prompts, photobashed together and overpainted by @CandyChrome9, the rest is all 100% human made (gross, i know, but once we enslaved them we might as well put them to work) by yours truly and our 3d artist Huber.
